


Soul Signs

by cottonpadenthusiast



Series: The Oneshots [4]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, M/M, Marauders, Marauders' Era, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Pining, Romance, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, Soulmates, and remus feeling alone and awful, i apologise beforehand, i feel evil writing this, just a big angsty mess
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-23
Updated: 2018-11-24
Packaged: 2019-08-28 07:34:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,702
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16719091
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cottonpadenthusiast/pseuds/cottonpadenthusiast
Summary: Everyone has a Soul Sign; the Patronus of your soulmate painted on your skin. Everyone is destined to find love. Yet Remus seems destined for someone who doesn't have a soulmate at all.





	1. Chapter 1

Remus blew the hair from his eyes, his cheeks dusted pink from the heat of a late summer’s afternoon. Hogwarts had turned into an ancient sauna over the past week, every room in the huge castle stuffy and humid. Remus was beginning to wonder if someone had cast numerous heating charms in the dorms as a prank. 

Sirius’ voice suddenly boomed from the other side of the dorm. “Moony, it’s bloody roasting. Why are you wearing that jumper?! You’re gonna overheat.”

Remus pulled his sleeve down further, conscious of the prying eyes on his arm. Despite the heat and the sweat dripping off his back, he would rather die of heat exhaustion than take off this jumper. 

He couldn’t let Sirius see. He couldn’t let anyone see.

“Oh, I’m fine. Unlike you, I don’t feel the need to strut around half naked as soon as the temperature hits above 17 degrees,” Remus replied, trying not to stare as a topless Sirius walked towards him. His eyes lingered on Sirius’ right forearm, taking in the blankness, the emptiness.

_Don’t let him see._

Sirius stopped just before Remus’ bed, a light smirk illuminating his features. “When you have my body, it seems only right to let everyone enjoy it. I can’t disappoint my adoring fans.” Sirius flexed, causing Remus to roll his eyes in amusement. 

“You coming down to the Lake? We are going for a swim.”

Remus swallowed. “No. No, I can’t. I have to finish that homework-the essay. It’s due soon.”

“Oh, ok.” Sirius eyed Remus suspiciously for a moment, before turning his back and walking to the door. “See you later!”

The door slammed shut. “Bye,” Remus murmured to the empty room, relief filling him.

His gaze dropped to his clothed arm. The jumper that covered his secret, his pain. The arm that could destroy everything.

Slowly, he lifted the sleeve and the dark, black ink came into view. It etched a small, intricate pattern that contrasted his pale skin.

The soul sign. His soul sign. The Patronus of his soulmate, the sign of the person he was destined to fall in love with. It appeared when both soulmates were ready for each other, when the universe had decided that their time had come. Remus’ had appeared in 4th year, almost two years ago.

Remus stared at the little black dog on his arm, breathing heavily. It was Sirius.

His soul sign was Sirius.

Sirius whose arm remained blank. Sirius who insisted he didn’t need a soulmate. Sirius who didn’t have a soul sign.

Remus swallowed the lump in his arm, pulling his sleeve down quickly. No one could see that he was without a soulmate. It wasn’t meant to work that way. Everyone was destined for someone, no matter how much they hated it, no matter how unlovable they felt.

Remus was different. His soulmate didn’t even have a sign, never mind his Patronus. Sirius was the love of Remus’ life, the unrequited love of Remus’ life.

Sirius was his soul sign, and Remus had never felt more alone.


	2. Chapter 2

Summer had come and gone for Remus Lupin. The violent heat of the sun had been replaced by the whispers of autumn, and each day seemed colder. His Gryffindor sweater provided little warmth in the silence of the empty common room, as Remus sat on the sofa, his arms wrapped around his legs.

He never knew if he genuinely liked the summer break. The absence of his friends and the transformations alone were awful, but there was nothing compared to the aching of not being near Sirius.

Soulmates weren’t made to stay apart, weren’t meant to spend days alone wishing for the other. The distance from Sirius caused Remus’ soul to mourn the loss of its mate, its love. Remus thought souls stupid, obsessed things. Why didn’t it realise that Sirius wasn’t coming back, that Sirius had never been there in the first place?

Sometimes, the physical pain of missing Sirius was worse than any full moon. Sometimes, death seemed easier than the pain.

 

Remus sensed movement beside him. Sirius sat on the edge of the sofa, his hands gripping the worn leather and eyes staring into the dying flames of the fire. He seemed exhausted, but his legs continued to shake in a fit of anxiousness, a new habit for the black-haired boy. A habit that had appeared the day after he left his home, his brother after years of abuse. The former-Black heir seemed both dimmer and brighter after leaving his family, his past still haunting him, yet his future now brighter, greater than ever before.

Remus thought Sirius Black was the bravest person he knew.

“Moony.”

Sirius’ voice cut through the silence, and Remus jerked his eyes up from where had been staring at the bouncing knee.

“Hmm?” Remus replied, having to stop the urge to grab the other boy’s face and demand why he didn’t have a soul sign, why he didn’t feel the pain or hurt or love. It wasn’t Sirius’ fault that Remus’ life had been damned even before it began.

“Can I see your arm?”

Remus stopped breathing.

His reply came out as a whisper. “What?”

Sirius’ gaze moved from the fire to Remus’ face. “I want to see your arm. Your soul sign. I want to see your soul sign.”

Everything inside of Remus seemed to still, yet he managed a weak reply. 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about Sirius.”

“Yes, Remus. You do. Please - just show me.”

A cold, hard mantra repeated in Remus’ head -  _he knows, he knows, he knows_ \- yet no panic, no fear arose within him. All that was left was emptiness as Remus tugged up his sleeve. If the universe had destined for him to feel this much heartache, who was he to mess with destiny? 

Remus watched Sirius as the other boy stared at the little, black dog on his arm. Sirius swallowed slowly, seemingly unable to look Remus in the eye.

“How long have you had this?” The other boy asked, his voice croaky and hoarse.

“Two years,” Remus replied plainly. He didn’t feel anything.

Sirius sucked in a harsh breath and his expression turned violent. “Two fucking years,” he murmured, harshly.

Suddenly, Sirius got up from the sofa and Remus could feel the anger radiating off of him.

“TWO FUCKING YEARS!” He yelled, kicking the other chair. It fell, yet Sirius kept on kicking, his eyes ablaze with a crazed anger while his shouts filled the common room.

Remus didn’t know when the tears started or when the pain appeared and seemed to be pulling his soul from his body, but soon he was sobbing. Sirius hated him. His soulmate was wrecking a perfectly good piece of furniture because he couldn’t bear the sight of his Patronus on Remus’ skin. And Remus was pretty sure he would die from the pain of it.

As broken sobs wracked through Remus’ body and his vision turned blurry with tears, Remus found himself wondering if soulmates passed on into the next life. If maybe he had a chance with Sirius once this was all over, if maybe his love was strong enough to withstand death. He hoped it would.

“Remus? Remus! Oh shit!” Sirius’ voice sounded muffled against the fog in Remus’ mind, but a part of him registered strong hands pulling him against a large form.

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry,” Remus repeated. He didn’t think there were enough apologies to fix what he had broken.

Sirius’ hands stroked circles into the werewolf’s back. “Shhh, it’s ok. It’s not your fault. It was never your fault. Look at me, Rem. Please look at me.”

Remus didn’t know why Sirius was holding him, nor why tears were staining his cheeks, but he managed to look up. 

When Sirius’ thumb started gently wiping away Remus’ tears, Remus felt his heart jump in his chest. When Sirius smiled at him painfully soft, Remus’ heart began beating erratically. When Sirius’ eyes signalled to his own arm and Remus looked, Remus’ heart stopped for the second time that evening.

“It’s yours. Your Patronus. It appeared this summer,” Sirius murmured softly.

Remus breathed deeply, staring at the black wolf etched on Sirius’ skin. This couldn’t be real. It didn’t make sense.

Sirius’ voice cut through Remus’ thoughts. “The Black family, they have a spell. Once a new member of the family is born, the spell is cast over their arm. It stops their Soul Sign from ever appearing. It makes arranged marriages much easier to organise if someone doesn’t have a soulmate and helps to ensure they can keep the bloodline pure. There are no worries about someone being destined for a blood traitor or a Muggle-born. When I left this summer, left the family, the spell broke and the Soul Sign appeared. I knew it was you the moment I saw it. It’s always been you.”

Remus didn’t know how to respond to that. Everything he had thought, he had believed for two years was wrong and he didn’t think he had the words to describe the warmth and love blooming in his chest in that exact moment.

Instead, he reached across and traced the little wolf on Sirius’ arm, his soulmates’ arm and watched as it danced under his touch. His head dropped to Sirius’ shoulder and the two boys smiled as their Soul Signs met at their hands as their fingertips intertwined.

“Two years. I could have been with you for two years, if it wasn’t for them.”

Remus moved so that he was facing Sirius and cupped the other boy’s face in his hands the way he had been dying to do for a long time.

“Well, I suppose with two years wasted, we better get started then,” Remus said, moving closer.

Sirius’ eyes were on Remus’ lips. “Started with what?”

“This,” he whispered, before pressing his lips against Sirius’. Their souls met as their lips did and Remus could almost feel the long-awaited collision between them.

As they kissed, the wolf and the dog on their arms huddled together in between their pressed hands. Finally, they had found their home. Finally, they had found each other.


End file.
